and then?
I just realised tonight that at 32 I’m not as young as I feel or look or behave. Time is passing me by and I does not give a fuck about me or anyone else.
Two people I knew just dropped dead. My mom only just told me over the phone when I called her for a chat. One from a very aggressive form of cancer, 5 months after she had a baby, the other one of a heart attack leaving behind him two kids under 3 years old.
I’ve always been comfortable with the thought of dying but tonight I realised that this comfort only came from the subconscious assumption that I’m gonna live longer than my 30’s.
If I died tonight what would I leave behind? A heartbroken family? What mark have I made on this world, what would people remember me by?
Mood: quite depressed
Comments
some things just never do change in someone’s psyche, do they? :)